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Lessons in Flight
SFFI's official online newsletter
Reflections of a Graduate
Date Posted: 2010-05-30, Source/Author: Bing M.
ďObstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. And if you do succeed it isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. Ē

I am prepared. I am very prepared along with the security of self-control and acceptance. I have a better picture of myself. Courage has made me feel mature that I donít need to fight back or seek vengeance. I can finally say that it is all going to be alright. Iím ready for anyone to throw anything to me. I will continue to take crisis situations with a grain of salt. Listening has increased and self-centeredness away and done with. Catching myself doing the wrong things felt very good. Iíve discovered that honesty has made me more of a man than some coward hiding behind a lie. I donít need to impress others, simply accept my limits. Iíve learned to confront myself and express ill feelings thru more diplomatic means. I have to remember that the more I force the more my family will resist and step back. No ifs or buts simply admitting that yes Iíve made a mistake and so Iím accountable, period. Thereís no need to people please until I learn to fix myself before fixing others.

Graduation is the beginning of longer days with Bryce and Anna. It will be a harder test for my patience, creativity, productivity and continuous, consistent love and support for them. Iíll have more time to spend with mom and dad to give them the peace of mind they so deserve. I will be going back to the facility to help out not because I have to but even better because I want to. I want to check my program bearings and progress. I want to see myself use my program with Anna and Bryce. I wonít depend too much on Kuya Jun and my parents. Theyíve done so much to lead me to this point. Definitely there will still be communication. We always say that I alone can do it but I canít do it alone. I admit that it hurts that Anna isnít going to give in anytime soon. But this shouldnít stop me from believing in myself, at a time like this she tells me often that we should be friends and that I should be well, but I know I should be ďgraduatingĒ from this pain to help me move on.

Iíve become more practical, confident, secured, unselfish, stable, spiritual, honest, and faithful. I donít have to be as anxious and paranoid, filled with panic at the slightest pressure. Iím still driven to pursue whatís best for my family. My responsibilities at the facility have taught me many levels of accountability. I now can plan ahead with my family. Invest for Bryceís college; invest in retirement stocks, rental properties, and small business ventures. I will keep pressing forward, being positive toward myself. I am ready to further develop better relationships forming better habits. I will be happy with whatever God has blessed me with, developing my inner life. I am excited about my life as in the Higher Ground Adventure. I fought hard for it and so I will keep it from being taken away. No one has better control of my life besides me. Iím ready to do the right thing without having to get tired of it. Iíve stepped up to the plate with my responsibilities at the facility just the way Iíve done it outside.

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